Plus Sized Secret

I’ve been lying to myself for a very long time and now I think it’s time I have to be honest not only to myself but also to you, and my family.

I never considered myself overweight.

I am not overweight.

That is 10 years ago when I was still active in the modeling world. Charing.
That was my ideal weight of 95 lbs. Can you believe I was that light and thin before?
Ako rin hindi ako makapaniwala na ganun ako kapayat dati.

Fast forward to today.

I weighed myself yesterday and I was totally mortified, horrified, scared and appalled with what the weighing scale was saying.

I am 165 lbs.

That means my weight increased by almost 50%. Okay 42% lang talaga but don’t you think it’s shocking?
My gosh. Ano ba ang pinagkakakain ko the past 10 years? I seldom go to fastfood chains nga eh. Charing.

Anyway, to some of you who saw me recently, you might not think I’m fat but I really am. Talented lang talaga ako when it comes to dressing up to look thin.

Let me tell you a secret.

If you noticed in my recent photos you’ll see me wearing shorts that are cut above the knee and my shirts are always tucked.



Hindi yan dahil pinagmamalaki ko ang aking mga biyas but because may purpose akong mas importante para i-flaunt ang mga 'yan. I’m hiding my tummy by tucking the shirt loosely, and showing my legs so that the attention of people goes to what’s visually good to look at and will not notice my widening belly.

You’ll also notice my signature pose ‘di ba? It’s oftentimes chin up at medyo tilted ang ulo (na parang may stiff neck) or profile ang angle, kasi nga I’m developing a double chin already and if I pose with my head down, the double chin is very obvious magmumukhang catterpillar ang leeg ko. Eto pa, I always do a crossed leg pose because it makes you slim when photographed on the right angle.
Napansin niyo rin siguro that my right hand is always at my waist, kasi nga I’m covering my bilbil.
And what about that little smirk on my face and just smiling with the eyes to look mataray? May purpose din yan. Not only because I want to look fierce but because I’m holding my breath when the photo is being taken (alam niyo na kung bakit) and it’s hard to hold your breath when you smile.

There! I said it.

My secret is no longer a secret!
Alam niyo na na medyo healthy nga ako in person.

Kaya kung magkasalubong man tayo or magkita soon, hindi na kayo magtataka kung bakit I looked like I gained a little weight. Malusog talaga ako at marunong lang mag-pose na kunwari payat.

Hahaha!

Animal Instinct

I know this post is a bit late but it’s still on the news so hindi pa naman totally panis ang gagawin kong ‘commentary’.

Jason Ivler is a murderer and should be in jail.
It’s obvious that he’s guilty because he’s been hiding from the cops for quite some time.
Ang akala natin ay nasa Amerika nagtatago ang gago pero yun pala nasa bahay lang nila nagtatago.

Tinatago ng kanyang sariling ina, si Marlene Aguilar.



So what do I think of Marlene Aguilar’s actions?

Well, nanay siya.
Ginawa lang niya ang akala niya ay para sa kapakanan ng kanyang anak. Mali man ito sa batas at sa mata ng karamihan ay ginampanan lang niya ang kanyang tungkulin bilang ina.
Tama ba ang ginawa niya? I honestly don’t know.
Sabi nga 'di ba ang karapatan ng isang tao ay nagtatapos kapag na-violate din ang karapatan ng ibang tao.
Clearly, nung pinatay ni Jason Ivler ang isang inosenteng tao, natapos na ang kanyang karapatan bilang malayang mamamayan.
At ang karapatan ni Marlene Aguilar bilang ina na protektahan ang kanyang anak is wrong.
What about the dead person’s mother? Di ba may karapatan din siya?

I know.
I’m not a mother.
Pero may nanay din ako. My sisters are both mothers.
I feel for the mother who’s in pain because of a son who’s life was taken away by a ruthless man.
Pasalamat si Marlene Aguilar at buhay pa ang kanyang anak.
May chance pa para magbago at ituwid ang mga kasalanan.
Perhaps she should focus on that.
That way, she’ll be a better mother not just for Jason but also in the eyes of the family his son had hurt, the eyes of the people and the eyes of The One above.

Oh Jennifer

Naisip ko lang.

Andaming artistang ang first name ay Jennifer. Iba nga lang ang spelling nung iba pero ganun pa rin ang tunog, medyo slight lang ang difference. Ibig ba sabihin nito ay kapag Jennifer ang name mo ay mas malaki ang chance na maging celebrity ka?

Well, maybe it’s true or sadyang coincidence lang talaga. But in any case, talented and beautiful din naman sila kaya na rin siguro narating nila kung nasaan man sila ngayon.

Enumerate nga natin.

There’s latin superstar Jennifer Lopez.



And of course, who doesn’t recognise the lovely Jennifer Aniston.



Or the Oscar and Grammy winner Jennifer Hudson.



Then there’s Mrs. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner.



The very sweet ghost whisperer Jennifer Love Hewitt.



Classic Hollywood actress Jennifer Jones.



Character actress Jennifer Jason Leigh.



And singer/songwriter Jennifer Paige.



Eto pa, award-winning actress and very stylish Jennifer Connelly.



I bet some of you doesn’t know the sexy Jennifer Tilly of Bride of Chuckie fame.



And don’t forget tennis sensation Jennifer Capriati.



Eto medyo nag-iba ang spelling, young actress Ginnifer Goodwin.



Meron pa, eto si Jennifer Holland of American Pie fame.



Dito naman sa Pilipinas, nandiyan si Jennifer Sevilla.



And former Viva Hot Babe Jennifer Lee.



May nakalimutan ba ako?

Well, before I forgot, eto ang pinaka-controversial sa lahat ng Jennifer.

Si Jennifer Adriano.

Sino siya?

None other than the woman who hates teachers,



Miss Rosanna Roces.



Hahaha!

Untitled

I received an SMS from a friend and it’s a parody of presidentiable Manny Villar’s political jingle. It’s supposed to be a song for gays and should be sung like the jingle. I don’t know if my sisterettes will find it offensive but I think it’s funny.



Sa mga kapatid ko sa pananampalataya, huwag maging balat-sibuyas. Huwag seryosohin. Okay? Remember to sing it to the tune of the jingle para funny.

Here it is.

Naka-booking ka na ba sa tambak ng basura?
Nakasuso ka na ba sa tabi ng kalsada?
Yan ang hanap namin,
Mga papang mabu-booking.

Naisip mo na bang pineperahan ka niya?
Todo effort tayo, puro tayo trabaho,
Para pag may booking may pambayad tayo.

Chorus:
Maging bakla ay tunay na mahirap.
Maging bakla ay tunay na puro pasakit.
Mga bakla lang ang may kakayahan
Na baguhin ang sariling pangalan.
Mambakla na lang,
Nang matapos ang iyong kahirapan.

Meanwhile, Sen. Manny Villar is still quiet about the C5 Road Extension Insertion Scandal.

Please lang, ito ba ang iboboto niyo? Isang taong mas piniling manahimik kesa sagutin ang mga paratang ng lantarang pangungurakot? At hindi pa yan presidente ha. How much more kung yan na ang nakaupo. Baka tayo pa ang ibenta niyan sa susunod.

Tough Model

Okay. I admit I buy pirated dvd copies. These days, who doesn’t? I mean it’s everywhere ‘di ba? Kahit sa mga legitimate malls ay merong nakadisplay na pirated copies of dvd kaya please lang kung may magle-lecture diyan about how bad buying pirated copies of dvd or records, doon kayo makipag-debate sa government agencies na in-charge dito.

Dati rati ay so keen ako sa pakikipaglaban against piracy, in fact I even won a t-shirt from the defunct TV show “Points of View” for giving my opinion and the topic then was about piracy.

My point is, juice ko, lahat na lang yata ng pelikula and pene-kula ay makikita mo sa mga pirata. Aminin, hindi lahat ng mga record stores around the country ay matatagpuan ang rare copies of indie films and films that never came out commercially. Pati mga tv series that’s already shown in the United States at hindi pa lumalabas sa Pinas ay meron nang clear copies ang mga pirata. In fact. Many TV shows in the US na sinusubaybayan ko ay natapos ko, maraming salamat sa mga pirata.

I recently discovered that some stalls are even selling copies of my favourite reality show (na favourite din ng buong sangkabadingan) ang America’s Next Top Model. A friend has copies of a number of cycles. ‘Di ba bongga? Another reason for me para salakayin ang mga pirata these coming days and scour for complete and clear copies of the said reality show.

Honestly, I think I saw all episodes of America’s Next Top Model from Cycle 1 up to Cycle 13. Napanood ko ito regularly on Studio 23 (Cycles 1 to 3), Channel V (Cycles 4 to 8), ETC (Cycles 9 & 10) and via YouTube (Cycles 11 to 13).

With that saying, here’s a list of the ANTM winners according to my ranking from the least favourite up to my most favourite.



McKey (Cycle 11)



I think she’s the worst winner in all cycles of ANTM. She’s got one fabulous look na according to Tyra is her signature pose which I think is not so extraordinary at all. Ginawa na yan ni Saleisha sa Cycle 9 noh.



Isa pa, mukhang walang career ang lola niyo ngayon. I wonder kung nasa Elite pa rin siya ngayon.



Adrienne (Cycle 1)



I was not rooting for her to win because her look is borderline commercial but not high fashion either. Her photos were also mediocre compared to the portfolios of runners up Shannon and Elyse. Isa pa, pasaway ang lola niyo at inokray pa si Tyra after her contract ended.



Posing for Playboy (twice) is so not top model.



Saleisha (Cycle 9)



Many of you may not like her but I think Saleisha’s look after the makeover is fierce. That ‘bunot’ hairstyle made a big difference and even her photo portraying as a tulip is actually not that bad for me.



Her commercial photos with CoverGirl is also very refreshing and joyful to look at compared to Jenah and Chantal’s.



Nicole F. (Cycle 13)



She had me with that first photo shoot assignment. Her quirky, naive and weird attitude worked in her advantage. She only had a few mis-steps during the whole cycle and even though she’s only 5’7”, she acted like she’s a lot taller.



Probably the tallest among her competitors, both literally and objectively. I’m sure we’ll see a lot from her in the coming days.



Whitney (Cycle 10)



This winner has a beautiful face and a perfect figure for plus-sized modelling. With regards to her walk, mas bongga nga naman siyang lumakad compared to runner-up Anya.



As the first plus-sized girl to have made it that far, I admit I was rooting for her to win just because I wanted to see a girl with a booty to kick the skinny girls’ butt.



CariDee (Cycle 7)



Her runway walk is the worst of all the ANTM winners but fortunately she’s got one of the most beautiful faces among the winners. She’s still with Ford so that means this girl still has a potential and a promising career ahead.



Kung hanggang kelan yun tatagal, ewan ko na lang. Sana hindi tumanda ang face niya.



Yoanna (Cycle 2)



Her motorcycle helmet shot is one of the best beauty shots of all time but her career as a model is not that great compared to other winners. Medyo alanganin kasi ang size niya for the runway.



Even though she’s not successful in that field of modeling, she did great naman as a tv presenter and has her own show for quite a while. Yoanna was a sure winner in her cycle.



Naima (Cycle 4)



I loved Naima from the very start of the competition because of that unusual mohawk. She’s the winner with the best profile look and unfortunately yun lang din ang anggulong maganda siya. When she’s photographed face front, medyo average lang ang ganda ng lola niyo.



Now, mukhang wala ring career and isang ito. Sayang.



Eva (Cycle 3)



She was dubbed ‘diva’ in her cycle pero sa totoo lang, mas diva pa ang ugali ni runner-up Yahya and frenemy Ann. Despite her being short, her attitude and personality was one of the reasons why she won in her cycle. And in fairness to her, Eva really has a great face for a beauty shot basta’t hindi lang kita ang butas ng kanyang ilong.



In fact, she’s one of the few winners whose Cover Girl contract was renewed. Eva is still active but as an actress for a soap.



Teyona (Cycle 12)



Although she’s not my favourite from her cycle (I was rooting for Allison), Teyona is one of the fiercest in terms of projecting in front on the camera. Her personality is also jolly and optimistic.



I was happy to see her Cover Girl shot and she really is selling the product from the way she posed in that ad. I’m hoping to see more of her in the runway though.



Nicole L. (Cycle 5)



I think she is the most versatile among all the winners. She can do a high fashion spread (that Elle editorial with Gilles Bensimon) and she can do a commercial one (that Secret deodorant shot).



She’s also visible in runway shows mostly in London and the rest of Europe proving to us that she’s not just another winner but an active one at that.



Danielle (Cycle 6)



She’s one of the most successful and most visible among the winners. Her contract with Cover Girl cosmetics was renewed many times and currently she’s a spokesmodel for a retail brand in the US.



Kahit medyo gap-toothed ang isang ‘to, it did not stopped her from making the best of what she got and used her tall frame and gorgeous face that led her to where she is now.



Jaslene (Cycle 7)



Okay, she may not be the most successful and also not the prettiest but Jaslene is my favourite top model winner of all time. She photographs well and she changes like a chameleon in many of her shots. Isa pa, luka-luka din kasi ang lola niyo and medyo may pagka-bakla ang ugali.



Very visible din siya in terms of runway appearance, product endorsement and print and television media.


That's it. Sana someday ay makita na rin natin sila sa cover ng Vogue. Eh pati nga si Tyra never pa uma-appear sa cover ng Vogue noh. Kelan kaya mangyayari yun.

Well good luck na lang at baka mauna pa ako sa kanila. Hahaha!

The Best Years

I noticed more than 50 percent of my friends in Facebook are my batchmates and schoolmates from high school.

Now I miss high school.



I miss a lot of things. Really.

High school has been my favourite time of all. You don’t worry a lot of things except looking good to get your target’s attention and getting good grades so your parents won’t have to be called during PTA meetings and be informed of your performance in school. In my case, I dread PTA meetings and I don’t want my parents to be there because nosy teachers tend to talk a lot. Eh malandi pa naman ako nung high school kaya oftentimes it’s always my being flambouyant and slutty that gets me into trouble.

I hate those teachers. Walang ginagawa kundi magsumbong ng magsumbong sa nanay kong talakera. Hahaha! Mabuti na lang at nakakabawi ako sa grades. In fairness, never akong nakakuha ng palakol.

My favourite subject ever is our elective majors. Cooking and dressmaking is of course is my forte but I super like our Electricity and Automotive Mechanics classes because we are an all-boys class. And you know, as the saying goes, “When the cat’s playmates are away, the gay mice will take over”.

Bwahahaha!

Meanwhile, during February, we always have this one-week event where all high school students camp within the college grounds.




We do hiking for a whole day, campfire during the night and bond with all the students for a whole week. It’s very tiring but it’s best experience ever in high school kahit itanong niyo pa sa lahat ng alumni ng aming school. Well, at least sa pagkakaalam ko. Hahaha!

During lunch and late afternoon breaks on regular days, my barkada and I make tambay at the university symbol called ‘The Eagle’ where we do impromptu Miss Gay question & answer portion and Quiz Bee.



Doon din kami tumatambay for boy-watching and inaabangan naming dumaan ang aming college crushes.

Haaaay.

I miss those times.

If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would. I had a few regrets kasi that I want to change.

If my schoolmates are reading this, I wanna tell you I miss you guys.

You were a part of the best years of my teenage life. Thank you.



photo credits: from my classmate Girl's Facebook account.
Thank you Girl.

Globe & Red Cross for Haiti

The earthquake in Haiti has destroyed a lot of properties and claimed many lives.



Globe Telecom and Red Cross made helping our brothers and sisters in Haiti easier.




Help earthquake victims in Haiti by donating to Red Cross.

Just text HAITI [space] [amount for donation] and send to 2899.

Available amounts are as follows;

P5, 25, 50, 100, 300

Thank you very much for helping.

Oh ayan, mga Globe subscribers diyan, wala na kayong excuse para hindi tumulong. Mas pinadali na sa atin ng Globe and Red Cross ang tumulong kaya let's do our share and donate.

Sana sumunod na rin ang Smart and Sun Cellular.